The PBR Oscars

Pretty soon Brad Pitt and George Clooney will look good wearing expensive tuxedos, LOTS of people will be thanked, at least one person will cry and we'll all watch on as the Academy Awards are handed out to random people for work on movies we've never seen or awards that never should have been invented. Then, finally, we'll get to see the awards for best actor, movie and director. Here at the PBR we'll dispense with all of that and just go straight to the most important awards...

Best Actor: Unlike the real Oscars, the Royals actually had two very strong candidates for this years award. Alex Gordon played the forgotten local hero, who had been cast out and now comes back to regain the hearts and minds of the people who had written him off. While Melky Cabrera played the new comer with A Lot of baggage (about 30 lbs.) who had to win over the people with an outstanding performance. Both exceeded expectations and put together two great performances, which in any other year might have made them locks for the award. Alas, someone has to take home the award. Both of these actors showed tons of promise early on by becoming breakout teenage stars, however something happened in their mid 20s and they started taking on roles not meant for them. Alex was miscast as the next Brad Pitt (George Brett) for years and this year he finally was able to shed those lofty expectations and settle for the next Jeff Bridges, reliable but not so unattainable. Similarly, Melky had high expectations placed on him as the next Bernie Williams on the big stage in New York, that did not happen and he ended up down-and-out in Hot Lanta doing cameos as the villan on CSI Miami episodes. It strikes me that Melky should take home the award due to the degree of difficulty in his turn around, Gordon's performance was technically better, but Melky's was more surprising and grittier. Alex's role was about like a Tom Hanks performance, while Melky's was more like the indie actor who never had a shot. And the award goes to...Alex Gordon.

No surprise here, there just wasn't enough support for Melky and Alex's movie was the higher grossing, studio film tear jerker that the voters really can get behind. Congrats to Alex! Hopefully he profusely thanks Kevin Sitzer.

My Prediction for the real Oscars:  Brad Pitt for Moneyball in a shocker.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Eric Hosmer, and it's not even close. This is a classic best supporting actor win for Hosmer in that he stole the show but was only limited from the best actor category due to his service time. Next year he'll be up there with Pitt and Clooney, but he had to go through the supporting category first. Hosmer's win this year is something akin to Heath Ledger's win for Dark Knight or Javier Bardem's for No County because it was so impossible that it could go to anyone else. His performance in the second half of last season will literally bring people to the ball bark this season. It was the sort of role the Royals have been patiently waiting to be filled; Beltran and Damon came close, Sweeney for about two years, Gordon couldn't do it until it was too late, if you thought Angel Berroa was going to do it you were crazy, Billy Butler doesn't quite have it, Grienke came very close for one season, but Hosmer is the guy who actually makes other teams  jealous. And we've got him for six years. Keep your fingers crossed.

My Prediction for the real Oscars:  Jonah Hill for Moneyball in a shocker.

Best Director: Another easy one. Jeff Francouer!!! After spending the last few seasons directing TV commercials after failing to live up to his next-big-thing hype. Francouer was signed by producer Dayton Moore to direct the uber feel good rom com of long time losers finally turning things around. His comedy routine is pretty, well, routine. However, if you smash enough pies in peoples faces, make enough "great win for the team" post game speeches, get your own fan club, and just smile for the camera A LOT, sometimes it works. The PBR does not see Jeff Francouer turning into Peter Jackson and directing the next great trilogy, but Dayton needed the veteran presence/leader type to carry his young team into the future and whatever you (I) may think of Dayton, he's earned the right to choose Francouer as the Director.  

My Prediction for the real Oscars:  Whoever directed Moneyball, despite not being nominated.

Best Actress: Chris Getz. I'm sorry Chris, but I had to. In 604 career ABs with the Royals you've yet to hit a home run. People get called a "Sally" for much less than that in little league.

My Prediction for the real Oscars:  Were there any females in Moneyball?

Best Actress in a Supporting Role:  Luke Hochevar. No, this is really the year he turns it around. Well you never know, here's hoping that he's this year's Alex Gordon and not Kyle Davies. But another +5.00 ERA and I'm done, and so should be Dayton.

My Prediction for the real Oscars:  Brad Pitt's daughter in Moneyball?
 
Contratulations to everyone, enjoy your statues and here's to Spring Training games in the near future!