Now that the winter meetings have kicked off and the GM’s are meeting at the O’Hare Hilton instead of the ocean view St. Regis in California, it means that cocktail season is fully upon us.
I know Brian Cashman and all the “joey workaholics” of the baseball world claim they do nothing but stay locked in their room, working on “deals”.
However, some of the these people must get out and about and at least do some “dinner deals”. You know, a little trip down to the Hotel Bar? I mean seriously Gents, it’s not as if you are in the war room with Bernanke, Geithner and crew working on keeping the world economy afloat. But then…maybe arguing over AIG is no different than arguing about Miguel Olivo’s free agent value.
Keeping with the jovial spirit of deal making here I am going to outline what I think each current Royal would order at our hypothetical cocktail party down in the hotel bar. Just note that while attempting to steer on the complete side of politically correct, we might blurr a couple of stereotype rules here.
If you really have any qualms about them, run them by Jason Whitlock for confirmation before launching full assault.
Dayton Moore - One always must know what the boss drinks. I’ll bet Dayton fancies himself as a real Don Draper type, but if you gave him an Old Fashioned he’d probably turn up his nose and say “it tastes like alcohol”.
My guess is that while he wishes he could set there and slug scotch with Don till the wee hours of the morning, Dayton thinks he’s cool asking the bartender which beers he has on tap, taking a minute to decide and then proudly announcing that he’ll have the “blue honkers October pumpkin stout red ale with brusslesprout strands”. Dayton will think he is the first person that “started drinking this back when it was a “micro brewery”. He’ll also probably overpay.
John Buck - Johnny Buck Hunter can handle a shot of Jack when need be, and has choked down a vodka drink once at a wedding. However, I’ll bet John actually nods his head in agreement at those Bud Light commercials that talk about “drinkability”. Big Buck never strays off the Anheiser –Busch ranch.
Mike Jacobs – Mike got kicked out of the bar before he could get to it because someone around 5’-6” accidently bumped into him and Mike tried to start a fight. Of course he swung and missed.
Kyle Farnsworth - Kyle sneaks his own flask of Wild Turkey 100 into the club. Every now and then he summons “babe” the cocktail waitress over to bring him a vodka and Rock Star. He shows up loaded and leaves even more loaded. Kyle spends most of the night alone, starring at people through his shooter glasses he has tinted for when he “clubs”.
Gil Meche – Gil might get the classy award here. Gil’s been making some money for a bit and actually might know what goes into a drink that includes a spirit, mixer and ice. He might even enjoy a vodka tonic. Gil banters with everyone while dressed in jeans, collared shirt and sport coat.
Willie Bloomquist – Willie doesn’t get past the doorman because he forgot his ID. When he tells the doorman that he plays major league baseball they immediately call the police.
Alex Gordon – Alex struts in wearing an Abercrombie t-shirt, cargo shorts and flip-flops with his baseball hat on. All he knows it that it was really awesome when he used to go out to the Husker Shucker back in college. Alex drinks Bud Light draughts and Jaeger bombs. The bar quits serving him after a couple of rounds because Alex thinks “keeping the change” on four dollars for his $3.75 beer is a quality tip.
Jose Guillen – Jose drinks Patron like water. But that’s only because he saw Daddy Yankee and El Hector doing it in one of their reggaeton videos a couple of years ago. Jose gets much taller and much tougher with each hit of Patron. By the end of the night he begins to make outrageous predictions such as playing an entire season uninjured.
Yuniesky Betancourt – Mr. Betancourt doesn’t even know what his favorite drink is. The man holds his booze well and if you’re looking to “let’s go get a shot”, well Yuniesky is your man. It could be acid injected with swine flu and he pounds it down. His clothes however, would make a Turkish casino goer blush.
We’ll continue this list as time progresses. Perhaps after a walk off home run, the reporter should ask “what is your favorite drink”, instead of “what was going through your mind at that particular moment”. At least we might get an answer.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Part II: So much to do...with so little
This is the follow-up to a previous post, which will now focus on this offseason trying to undo what happened last season and how best to move forward with a team that might be able to compete in the worst division in baseball. The Royals surprised the world and were active in early trading when they shipped Mark Teahen to the White Sox for Chris Getz and Josh Fields - so far so good they shaved a few bucks and got two players who may yet still have a future.
The following is an evaluation and prediction of what will happen in the foreseeable future, note the assumption that Mike Jacobs is not in the future plans has been made:
Bullpen: Shockingly the Royals did not have the worst (ERA-wise) bullpen in baseball, the Nationals beat them out for that honor and they finished second worst. Truthfully the bullpen is the biggest crap shoot in all of baseball and the best thing to do would be for them to let out a collective "F**k you JOBU I'll do it myself" move on from last year and hope that their straight ball doesn't get hit so hard.
Bullpen Predictions: More of the same, they will find at least one guy for which they can overpay and Soria will need Tommy John surgery after trying to become the first three inning closer.
Catcher: This is a prickly one; do you overpay for Big Buck Hunter or Olivo or do you risk putting all of your eggs in one basket with Brayan Pena. If its a new look you want to see, this is actually the best place to find it, bid adieu to Buck and Olivo thank them for a Job well...Done and cross your fingers with Brayan Pena, maybe tell Willie to try on a catcher's mitt during the offseason - he actully has respectable offensive numbers for a back-up catcher.
Catcher Prediction: Olivo will think he's worth a multi year deal, run away from the Royals and they'll panic into signing Buck again giving them maybe the worst defensive platoon behind the plate in all the majors.
Outfield: This is where they could get themselves into a lot of trouble trying to get better.
CF: While we would all love to see them go out and get a difference maker in center field, we are just the organization to overpay for an aging injury prone CF and be waiting until his contract is up (see Guillen 3yr/$36mil). I've also read in the wide world of Royals blogging that there is some thought about trying to re-sign CoCo Puffs, even at a discounted price this is playing with fire. Best case scenario; Mitchy gets the job and improves just a little bit.
CF Prediction: We are going to sign Mike Cameron to a 4yr $50mil deal.
LF: David DeJesus, we'll take the same year as last year with a sprinkle of hitting in April and May. Another option, DJ might be our best trade bait; good numbers both using standard and metric measuring units at a reasonably cheap price. The brutal truth is that we can't be any worse of a team without him - they are 202 games below .500 during his formative years (2004-2009) as a Royal - so why not see if we can't get a good prospect haul in return and hope to pull a rabbit out of a hat.
LF Prediction: DJ has another DJ-like year and gets traded to the Mets at the all-star break when the Royals are yet again out of the race.
RF: Dream Scenario; Guillen takes his medication, pumps some iron with Hanz and Franz, wakes-up to realize that this is his last year with these kind of insane game checks and he plays a full season and puts up respectable right field numbers while hitting 5th behind a resurgent Alex Gordon and AL triple-crown threat Billy Butler. Sounds nice right; well that's all we've got Royals fans, so cross your fingers and say your prayers.
RF Prediction: Guillen punches out a fan in spring training, gets his release and we see an all-too-familiar platoon of Lil'Willie and Mitchy.
Infield: This is/was pretty much set, barring injuries, except for the wild cards of Mike Aviles and the new Teahen haul of players.
3B: Alex, Alex he's our man if he can't do it no one can! This is about the size of it, they just need a moderate break-out year from him, an Evan Longoria type year would be lovely, but truthfully we'll take a Joe Randa year. The new Teahen pick-up is something to consider but not really worth the time here.
3B Prediction: Alex has an average year and we're exited about what he might be able to do in 2011!!!
SS: Since, according to the WAR/UZR-lovers out there, Betancourt is one of the worst players in the history of baseball, the best case would be for Mike Aviles to beat him out and to be anywhere near 80% of what he was in 2008.
SS Prediction: A Betancourt/Aviles platoon becomes indistinguishable and futile so they go out and get Miguel Tejada.
2B: This was, up until the Teahen trade, somewhat of a sure thing with Callaspo coming off an impressive offensive year with some defensive question marks. A .300 switch-hitting second baseman with a little pop, sounds pretty good to me. Now speculation is running wild that he will be traded and we are going with the ever so slight defensive upgrade in Jody Getz.
2B Prediction: Callaspo is traded because he can't run or field in exchange for players that will amount to nothing in the future and some lucky team gets a good hitting second baseman...maybe the Cubs???
1B: In a perfect world either this new chap in the Teahen deal or someone from AAA (Kila Ka'aihue, anyone?) would look like a coordinated professional athlete at 1B and allow Billy to move to his natural position of DH because Guillen and Jacobs no longer need to be hidden there. However, we are talking Royals baseball here and a perfect world it will not be.
1B Prediction: Billy spends an inordinate amount of time stumbling around chasing balls thrown by the infielders and puts up about the same not-quite-superstar numbers as last year.
Starting Pitching: Nothing crazy here, it looks like this should be the team's strongest area. Give Hoch one more shot, a repeat Grienke year, Banny just needs to maintain his first half numbers for a full year, Gil goes back to being the workhorse he was, and Kyle Davies or Robinson Tejeda round it out, any kind of break out performance from someone in the minors would be great but no one wants to see a Bruce Chen/Sidney Ponson type signing in the rotation.
Starting Rotation Prediction: The front office will get nervous about not having a lefty in the rotation and sign Jared Washburn for 3yrs $36mil because he also formerly played for Seattle and this automatically means the Royals want him.
A lot of questions and unfortunately not a lot of answers; do they need new players, do they just need their own players to perform or are they just hopeless? We will all wait in anticipation for April to roll around and we can get some answers. In the meantime it should be an interesting offseason watching Dayton play Jenga with our already very shaky Royals team.
The following is an evaluation and prediction of what will happen in the foreseeable future, note the assumption that Mike Jacobs is not in the future plans has been made:
Bullpen: Shockingly the Royals did not have the worst (ERA-wise) bullpen in baseball, the Nationals beat them out for that honor and they finished second worst. Truthfully the bullpen is the biggest crap shoot in all of baseball and the best thing to do would be for them to let out a collective "F**k you JOBU I'll do it myself" move on from last year and hope that their straight ball doesn't get hit so hard.
Bullpen Predictions: More of the same, they will find at least one guy for which they can overpay and Soria will need Tommy John surgery after trying to become the first three inning closer.
Catcher: This is a prickly one; do you overpay for Big Buck Hunter or Olivo or do you risk putting all of your eggs in one basket with Brayan Pena. If its a new look you want to see, this is actually the best place to find it, bid adieu to Buck and Olivo thank them for a Job well...Done and cross your fingers with Brayan Pena, maybe tell Willie to try on a catcher's mitt during the offseason - he actully has respectable offensive numbers for a back-up catcher.
Catcher Prediction: Olivo will think he's worth a multi year deal, run away from the Royals and they'll panic into signing Buck again giving them maybe the worst defensive platoon behind the plate in all the majors.
Outfield: This is where they could get themselves into a lot of trouble trying to get better.
CF: While we would all love to see them go out and get a difference maker in center field, we are just the organization to overpay for an aging injury prone CF and be waiting until his contract is up (see Guillen 3yr/$36mil). I've also read in the wide world of Royals blogging that there is some thought about trying to re-sign CoCo Puffs, even at a discounted price this is playing with fire. Best case scenario; Mitchy gets the job and improves just a little bit.
CF Prediction: We are going to sign Mike Cameron to a 4yr $50mil deal.
LF: David DeJesus, we'll take the same year as last year with a sprinkle of hitting in April and May. Another option, DJ might be our best trade bait; good numbers both using standard and metric measuring units at a reasonably cheap price. The brutal truth is that we can't be any worse of a team without him - they are 202 games below .500 during his formative years (2004-2009) as a Royal - so why not see if we can't get a good prospect haul in return and hope to pull a rabbit out of a hat.
LF Prediction: DJ has another DJ-like year and gets traded to the Mets at the all-star break when the Royals are yet again out of the race.
RF: Dream Scenario; Guillen takes his medication, pumps some iron with Hanz and Franz, wakes-up to realize that this is his last year with these kind of insane game checks and he plays a full season and puts up respectable right field numbers while hitting 5th behind a resurgent Alex Gordon and AL triple-crown threat Billy Butler. Sounds nice right; well that's all we've got Royals fans, so cross your fingers and say your prayers.
RF Prediction: Guillen punches out a fan in spring training, gets his release and we see an all-too-familiar platoon of Lil'Willie and Mitchy.
Infield: This is/was pretty much set, barring injuries, except for the wild cards of Mike Aviles and the new Teahen haul of players.
3B: Alex, Alex he's our man if he can't do it no one can! This is about the size of it, they just need a moderate break-out year from him, an Evan Longoria type year would be lovely, but truthfully we'll take a Joe Randa year. The new Teahen pick-up is something to consider but not really worth the time here.
3B Prediction: Alex has an average year and we're exited about what he might be able to do in 2011!!!
SS: Since, according to the WAR/UZR-lovers out there, Betancourt is one of the worst players in the history of baseball, the best case would be for Mike Aviles to beat him out and to be anywhere near 80% of what he was in 2008.
SS Prediction: A Betancourt/Aviles platoon becomes indistinguishable and futile so they go out and get Miguel Tejada.
2B: This was, up until the Teahen trade, somewhat of a sure thing with Callaspo coming off an impressive offensive year with some defensive question marks. A .300 switch-hitting second baseman with a little pop, sounds pretty good to me. Now speculation is running wild that he will be traded and we are going with the ever so slight defensive upgrade in Jody Getz.
2B Prediction: Callaspo is traded because he can't run or field in exchange for players that will amount to nothing in the future and some lucky team gets a good hitting second baseman...maybe the Cubs???
1B: In a perfect world either this new chap in the Teahen deal or someone from AAA (Kila Ka'aihue, anyone?) would look like a coordinated professional athlete at 1B and allow Billy to move to his natural position of DH because Guillen and Jacobs no longer need to be hidden there. However, we are talking Royals baseball here and a perfect world it will not be.
1B Prediction: Billy spends an inordinate amount of time stumbling around chasing balls thrown by the infielders and puts up about the same not-quite-superstar numbers as last year.
Starting Pitching: Nothing crazy here, it looks like this should be the team's strongest area. Give Hoch one more shot, a repeat Grienke year, Banny just needs to maintain his first half numbers for a full year, Gil goes back to being the workhorse he was, and Kyle Davies or Robinson Tejeda round it out, any kind of break out performance from someone in the minors would be great but no one wants to see a Bruce Chen/Sidney Ponson type signing in the rotation.
Starting Rotation Prediction: The front office will get nervous about not having a lefty in the rotation and sign Jared Washburn for 3yrs $36mil because he also formerly played for Seattle and this automatically means the Royals want him.
A lot of questions and unfortunately not a lot of answers; do they need new players, do they just need their own players to perform or are they just hopeless? We will all wait in anticipation for April to roll around and we can get some answers. In the meantime it should be an interesting offseason watching Dayton play Jenga with our already very shaky Royals team.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
2008/2009 Offseason Moves Revisited
Coming off maybe one of the worst offseasons possible (hindsight being 20/20 and excluding the Grienke signing), the Royals will now look to fill some holes throughout the winter. This is a two part series; first an evaluation of last year and then a prediction of what they might be looking for this offseason.
Farny: At 2 years 9 mil, this pick-up looks like putting your life savings into General Motors. Hopefully the odds are with the Royals and no one could have back-to-back years as counterproductive as this one was for Farny.
Willie: Some people (not me) might try to convince you that this was a good pick-up and are excited about having this little spark-plug around for another year. While others might say that anyone in AAA could have filled his spot at a discounted price. Unfortunately for the Royals some people got hurt and allowed him to nudge his way into the everyday line-up (not his job), the fact that he has to carry every glove except the catcher's mit in his bag means that he does not have a position therefore he should not start. Provided there are no big injuries next year this will help to reduce Willie sightings on the starting line-up card. However in the overall scheme of things compared to Farny and Jose Guillen this is a much less salient mistake.
CoCo Puffs: For a brief period of time, many moons ago, this looked like a pretty solid pick-up, a real center fielder and a real lead-off hitter, this rarity had not been seen in the royals line-up for too long to remember. However, things went sour in a hurry and CoCo turned into just another money-pit. The worst thing the Royals could do would be to pick-up his option (over $8 mil), just give him his $500,000 buy-out and accept the possibility of Mitchy being our everyday center fielder.
Mike Jacobs: Seemed like a good experiment, the Royals had not had a 30 homer guy since Jermaine Dye was just a pup. Many strike-outs (and not enough homers) later this $3mil would have been better off placed on the long shot winning an exacta-box at your local OTB. Oh, did we mention that he apparently is unable to play the field in the majors at the ripe age of 28 - basically there is no reason to believe that Mike Jacobs even deserves to play in the majors next year.
Juan Cruz: See Farny. At least Cruz had a brief period of productivity, but after the All-Star break he decided he would be playing for the other team in the 8th inning. Again the hope is that he can't be that bad two years in a row, hopefully he'll get some home cooking this off-season and put on enough weight to stick it out for a full season.
As if this dead horse hadn't been beaten and beaten and beaten I thought this recap was necessary before delving into a what to do this offseason, since the 2008/9 group yielded nothing, plugged no holes and actually sprung more leaks part II will be an experiment in fantasy GM-ing...
Farny: At 2 years 9 mil, this pick-up looks like putting your life savings into General Motors. Hopefully the odds are with the Royals and no one could have back-to-back years as counterproductive as this one was for Farny.
Willie: Some people (not me) might try to convince you that this was a good pick-up and are excited about having this little spark-plug around for another year. While others might say that anyone in AAA could have filled his spot at a discounted price. Unfortunately for the Royals some people got hurt and allowed him to nudge his way into the everyday line-up (not his job), the fact that he has to carry every glove except the catcher's mit in his bag means that he does not have a position therefore he should not start. Provided there are no big injuries next year this will help to reduce Willie sightings on the starting line-up card. However in the overall scheme of things compared to Farny and Jose Guillen this is a much less salient mistake.
CoCo Puffs: For a brief period of time, many moons ago, this looked like a pretty solid pick-up, a real center fielder and a real lead-off hitter, this rarity had not been seen in the royals line-up for too long to remember. However, things went sour in a hurry and CoCo turned into just another money-pit. The worst thing the Royals could do would be to pick-up his option (over $8 mil), just give him his $500,000 buy-out and accept the possibility of Mitchy being our everyday center fielder.
Mike Jacobs: Seemed like a good experiment, the Royals had not had a 30 homer guy since Jermaine Dye was just a pup. Many strike-outs (and not enough homers) later this $3mil would have been better off placed on the long shot winning an exacta-box at your local OTB. Oh, did we mention that he apparently is unable to play the field in the majors at the ripe age of 28 - basically there is no reason to believe that Mike Jacobs even deserves to play in the majors next year.
Juan Cruz: See Farny. At least Cruz had a brief period of productivity, but after the All-Star break he decided he would be playing for the other team in the 8th inning. Again the hope is that he can't be that bad two years in a row, hopefully he'll get some home cooking this off-season and put on enough weight to stick it out for a full season.
As if this dead horse hadn't been beaten and beaten and beaten I thought this recap was necessary before delving into a what to do this offseason, since the 2008/9 group yielded nothing, plugged no holes and actually sprung more leaks part II will be an experiment in fantasy GM-ing...
Friday, August 28, 2009
Fun With Line-Up Cards
Enough is enough sports fans and since we thrown the ashes of Ron Mahay over the edge of the ship, let us have some fun. As punishment for an abysmal season, we shall fill out a line-up card that places current members of the squad in positions that they would hate to play. We are going for misery here, the good old fashioned suffering kind (as in making Jeremy Affeldt throw hay bales without gloves…we’ll show you what real blisters look and feel like, Jeremy.)
1. Bryan Pena CF
I actually kind of like Pena, but it would be nice to see his dumpy butt have to run out to center field every inning. By the fifth, he should have to race Sluggerrr to the centerfield wall. First one to touch the 400 sign wins. Morning line favorite is Sluggerrr.
2. Mark Teahen C
Yes sir, I want pretty Markus to have to strap on the old shin guards. Then I want Kyle Farnsworth to work on his split finger pitch on a particularly bad day (like after he has blown 9,023,402,398 consecutive holds), in a sauna, using the thin little Wilson chest protectors, after a Jeep Jamboree has occurred in front of the plate, and I want Mark to BLOCK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE THEM. For every ball that he doesn’t block to land squarely in front of the plate, his punishment will be to drive in a run from third base with less than two out. That should scare him to death.
3. Josh Anderson, 3B
If Josh thinks that ground balls hit to him in the outfield are tough (particularly the kind that he ends up kicking enough to lend the other team an inside the park home run), well Josh will take great solace in holding down the old hot corner with Bruce Chen pitching and Vladimir Guerrero up to bat on a 2-0 count. And Josh….take away the bunt, would you please.
4. Zach Greinke, Team psychologist
Actually Zach loves to hit and unfortunately would probably be an adequate four hole on this team, so this one doesn’t really count. We don’t call him Zoloft Greinke for nothin’.
5. Billy Butler, SS
This one is easy, but watching Pugsly give chase to balls up the middle and have to dive and stuff might take my eyes of Sluggerrr for an inning or two. Plus, I’ll bet Billy’s under pressure double play turn is lightening quick. Fifteen cleat-marks on the thigh later, maybe Billy will give jumping after he throws a whirl.
6. Dayton Moore, 1B
Attempting dig Mr. Anderson’s throws from shallow left, because that’s how scared he is and Billy’s standard four hopper across diamond, in conjunction with some Dr. Greinke’s prescription pills, might cause Dayton to quit signing people like Kyle Farnsworth, Bruce Chen and Ron Mayay. Oh, and don’t forget Mark Teahan’s snap throw from the knees.
7. Jose Guillen, Bud Light Vendor
Actually I would pay $500 to make Jose tramp up a whole bunch of stairs, in the KC August heat, wielding a cooler of beers, yelling at the top of his lungs and then come over to me, twist one off, and smile while I tip him the bottle cap. Jose might get in shape on this one, strengthen up those hamstrings and reduce his backyotomy rate by half. In reality anything requiring effort would work here….and Jose, could you get me the really cold one at the bottom please.
8. Mike Jacobs, 2B
I don’t have anywhere else to put him, but you know in the movie Major League when Willie Mays Hays has to do ten pushups every time he hits a pop up in batting practice? Well, we’ll do the same with Mike. Every time he doesn’t hit a home-run or double, he has to go a day without chewing Red Man. Heads up Durry Inn.
9. Yuniesky Betancourt, P
Wait a second, this is his natural position. He’s lazy, has a good arm, no range and can’t hit his rear-end with either hand. Solid middle relief is on the way in 2012, in Mr. Betancourt and Tony Pena Jr.
1. Bryan Pena CF
I actually kind of like Pena, but it would be nice to see his dumpy butt have to run out to center field every inning. By the fifth, he should have to race Sluggerrr to the centerfield wall. First one to touch the 400 sign wins. Morning line favorite is Sluggerrr.
2. Mark Teahen C
Yes sir, I want pretty Markus to have to strap on the old shin guards. Then I want Kyle Farnsworth to work on his split finger pitch on a particularly bad day (like after he has blown 9,023,402,398 consecutive holds), in a sauna, using the thin little Wilson chest protectors, after a Jeep Jamboree has occurred in front of the plate, and I want Mark to BLOCK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE THEM. For every ball that he doesn’t block to land squarely in front of the plate, his punishment will be to drive in a run from third base with less than two out. That should scare him to death.
3. Josh Anderson, 3B
If Josh thinks that ground balls hit to him in the outfield are tough (particularly the kind that he ends up kicking enough to lend the other team an inside the park home run), well Josh will take great solace in holding down the old hot corner with Bruce Chen pitching and Vladimir Guerrero up to bat on a 2-0 count. And Josh….take away the bunt, would you please.
4. Zach Greinke, Team psychologist
Actually Zach loves to hit and unfortunately would probably be an adequate four hole on this team, so this one doesn’t really count. We don’t call him Zoloft Greinke for nothin’.
5. Billy Butler, SS
This one is easy, but watching Pugsly give chase to balls up the middle and have to dive and stuff might take my eyes of Sluggerrr for an inning or two. Plus, I’ll bet Billy’s under pressure double play turn is lightening quick. Fifteen cleat-marks on the thigh later, maybe Billy will give jumping after he throws a whirl.
6. Dayton Moore, 1B
Attempting dig Mr. Anderson’s throws from shallow left, because that’s how scared he is and Billy’s standard four hopper across diamond, in conjunction with some Dr. Greinke’s prescription pills, might cause Dayton to quit signing people like Kyle Farnsworth, Bruce Chen and Ron Mayay. Oh, and don’t forget Mark Teahan’s snap throw from the knees.
7. Jose Guillen, Bud Light Vendor
Actually I would pay $500 to make Jose tramp up a whole bunch of stairs, in the KC August heat, wielding a cooler of beers, yelling at the top of his lungs and then come over to me, twist one off, and smile while I tip him the bottle cap. Jose might get in shape on this one, strengthen up those hamstrings and reduce his backyotomy rate by half. In reality anything requiring effort would work here….and Jose, could you get me the really cold one at the bottom please.
8. Mike Jacobs, 2B
I don’t have anywhere else to put him, but you know in the movie Major League when Willie Mays Hays has to do ten pushups every time he hits a pop up in batting practice? Well, we’ll do the same with Mike. Every time he doesn’t hit a home-run or double, he has to go a day without chewing Red Man. Heads up Durry Inn.
9. Yuniesky Betancourt, P
Wait a second, this is his natural position. He’s lazy, has a good arm, no range and can’t hit his rear-end with either hand. Solid middle relief is on the way in 2012, in Mr. Betancourt and Tony Pena Jr.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Two-hole Rant
Watching Tokyo Trey fill out the line-up card everyday with Willie Bloomquist at #2 has become an unbearable source of frustration. The merits of Willie playing everyday are in and of themselves highly questionable but with Gordon having been inexplicably sent down to the minors its either him or Josh Anderson in Right so unless we plan on giving John Buck or Brayan Pena a shot in Right I'll take Willie on most days. Which leads us to the question of why he should be hitting 2nd everyday - his numbers are at best those of a major league 9-hole hitter - when we have one very good candidate for a classic two-hole hitter and another option far better than Willie. Lets start with the obvious, On Base Percentage, Lil' Wil currently sports a .301 OBP (yes, for all of the anti Mike Jacobs sentiment out there he actually gets on base more than Willie), while Callaspo carries the third highest on the team at .342 and Mr. Teahen gets on base at a rate of .336. Remember these are the guys hitting in front of Billy Butler, the ONLY hitter that can be confused for a run-producer on the team, MORE GUYS ON BASE EQUALS MORE RBI FOR BILLY. Fun facts: Callaspo is the best contact hitter on the team (best BB/SO ratio) and Teahen leads the team in runs scored.
Lets think about what is going on in Trey's brain for one sec, I'm guessing his thinking would go like this; speed speed speed, Willie fast, Willie steal bases, Willie bats 2nd. Teahen and Callaspo have 31 and 30 doubles respectively while Willie has gone for a grand total of 7. Do his stolen bases make-up for this? 18 SB + 7 2B = 25, so no they don't and Teahen even steals a few bases and runs quite well.
Future development; in a perfect world yes, Teahen would be our everyday 5-hole hitter, knock in 100, hit 25 homers, but if he has proven anything it is that he will not be this guy, although who knows maybe it is still worth a shot given the alternatives. However, Callaspo is in no way an ideal run producer but he could be the Royals starting 2nd basemen and 2-hole hitter for a few years, are we grooming Willie for this? I really hope not.
What is one of if not the biggest problem for the Royals? Scoring Runs. Why don't we want our best OBP guys hitting in front of Billy Butler? Is it too obvious? Doesn't there have to be an explanation? This is just Trey at his best; confusing, frustrating and dissappointing. For all of the tinkering with the line-up that he does one of the constants is that if Willie plays he hits two-hole, wouldn't you think at some point he would get around to this change? Actually with Trey not trying this makes the most sense.
Lets think about what is going on in Trey's brain for one sec, I'm guessing his thinking would go like this; speed speed speed, Willie fast, Willie steal bases, Willie bats 2nd. Teahen and Callaspo have 31 and 30 doubles respectively while Willie has gone for a grand total of 7. Do his stolen bases make-up for this? 18 SB + 7 2B = 25, so no they don't and Teahen even steals a few bases and runs quite well.
Future development; in a perfect world yes, Teahen would be our everyday 5-hole hitter, knock in 100, hit 25 homers, but if he has proven anything it is that he will not be this guy, although who knows maybe it is still worth a shot given the alternatives. However, Callaspo is in no way an ideal run producer but he could be the Royals starting 2nd basemen and 2-hole hitter for a few years, are we grooming Willie for this? I really hope not.
What is one of if not the biggest problem for the Royals? Scoring Runs. Why don't we want our best OBP guys hitting in front of Billy Butler? Is it too obvious? Doesn't there have to be an explanation? This is just Trey at his best; confusing, frustrating and dissappointing. For all of the tinkering with the line-up that he does one of the constants is that if Willie plays he hits two-hole, wouldn't you think at some point he would get around to this change? Actually with Trey not trying this makes the most sense.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Ok, some ground rules
I’m not sure on the pure mathematics of the situation, but let us say, for arguments sake, that the Royals are eliminated from playoff contention (make sure your “years without a playoff –birth-O meter” has the capacity to read “24”, and if the price is right you might want to upgrade to the three digit model now before they get to pricy).
With that out of the way, we shall develop a small working list of ground rules that the front office might want to use as some light reading material in order to avoid some of the pitfalls famous in these glorious past 23 years of blowout success.
1) The propensity to fall in love with small in stature, soft-tossing left-handers, particularly of the aging variety must cease. Darrel May, Chris George, Brian Anderson, Jimmy Gobble, Bruce Chen (see the pattern). If you must stop gap measure at least make sure that if Mars, Saturn and the planetary motions line up, that the pitcher should fool at least one major league hitter.
2) If the man’s first name is “Bruce” and his last name is “Chen”, never, never, never, sign him. Call-up either the Section 4 peanut vendor in Wilmington or Mr. Chen’s youngest son or daughter, all of whom warrant sucking up a 25 man roster space way more than the Brucemeister.
3) Any signee over the age of 30, who is promised more than $1.5 million per annum must post a performance bond of at least 80% of the total contractual amount. Of course no player will agree to such terms. This might deter our fearless front office from paying old people way too much money to put up numbers the average AA ballplayer produces between trips to Golden Corral on his $15 a day per diem.
4) A player over the age of 30 must out hit a younger prospect by at least 20% in all offensive categories.
An example: Willie “the sparkplug” Bloomquist should not receive his own Macy’s Day Parade and key to the city for hitting .257 with 3 hr and 21 RBI. (Willie now has nine, (9), neuf, neuve, CAREER home runs).
Thus a comparable, strapping, young lad down in AA who would actually make someone on the street not guess “junior, junior, vice vice vice president at Sprint” as his occupation, would have to be able put up the following numbers: 0.214, 2.5 hrs, 17.5 RBI….ect…On second thought, just have open tryouts on the concourse level of the renovated K two hours before each game. Or…there is always Craigslist.
Again this is a working list and shall be updated every time Bruce Chen gets a start.
With that out of the way, we shall develop a small working list of ground rules that the front office might want to use as some light reading material in order to avoid some of the pitfalls famous in these glorious past 23 years of blowout success.
1) The propensity to fall in love with small in stature, soft-tossing left-handers, particularly of the aging variety must cease. Darrel May, Chris George, Brian Anderson, Jimmy Gobble, Bruce Chen (see the pattern). If you must stop gap measure at least make sure that if Mars, Saturn and the planetary motions line up, that the pitcher should fool at least one major league hitter.
2) If the man’s first name is “Bruce” and his last name is “Chen”, never, never, never, sign him. Call-up either the Section 4 peanut vendor in Wilmington or Mr. Chen’s youngest son or daughter, all of whom warrant sucking up a 25 man roster space way more than the Brucemeister.
3) Any signee over the age of 30, who is promised more than $1.5 million per annum must post a performance bond of at least 80% of the total contractual amount. Of course no player will agree to such terms. This might deter our fearless front office from paying old people way too much money to put up numbers the average AA ballplayer produces between trips to Golden Corral on his $15 a day per diem.
4) A player over the age of 30 must out hit a younger prospect by at least 20% in all offensive categories.
An example: Willie “the sparkplug” Bloomquist should not receive his own Macy’s Day Parade and key to the city for hitting .257 with 3 hr and 21 RBI. (Willie now has nine, (9), neuf, neuve, CAREER home runs).
Thus a comparable, strapping, young lad down in AA who would actually make someone on the street not guess “junior, junior, vice vice vice president at Sprint” as his occupation, would have to be able put up the following numbers: 0.214, 2.5 hrs, 17.5 RBI….ect…On second thought, just have open tryouts on the concourse level of the renovated K two hours before each game. Or…there is always Craigslist.
Again this is a working list and shall be updated every time Bruce Chen gets a start.
Monday, August 10, 2009
It's time...
For Willie Bloomquist to stop occupying a spot where someone else should be, with his average now under .260, him hitting in the two-hole just doesn't make any sense. Alberto Callaspo's numbers are exactly what you want out of this spot in the order and Trey's insistence on hitting Willie in that position is now costing the team runs - .050 difference in OBPS on the guy hitting in front of Billy Butler. Remember all of those wasted doubles hit by Butler and Callaspo??? The Royals are never going to be anything more than what they are with a lifelong utility player taking potential everyday players out of the starting line-up. Willie is an excellent player to have on the bench but he should never, ever, on any respectable ball club (presumably what the Royals strive to be) get more than 250-300 at bats (case-in-point 165abs with a 100 loss Seattle club last year). It was at least excusable when he was hovering around .280 but at .257 he is hurting the development of a team.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)