The Big Three

Six starts 23 2/3 innings, 41 hits, 34 ER, 12 BB, 12 SO. These are the combined last two starts for the "Big Three" of Sanchez, Chen and Hochevar. And that includes a five inning fluke shutout by Sanchez. These were the Royals locks for the starting rotation at the beginning the year. These are the reasons why Aaron Crow can't get a shot, the reasons why Felipe Paulino had to fight for a spot in the rotation and the reasons why the Royals felt they were good on the starting rotation going into the year.

It's been a bad stretch for these guys. So BAD that the Royals might be the first team in the history of modern baseball to have not one, not two, but three long relievers. Yes, the minor league call-up everyone has been waiting for: The Return of Vinny Mazzaro! That's how bad the rotation has been; they need help from a pitcher who is the owner of the worst relief appearance in history. Be honest you never thought we'd have to see Vinny again, did you?

Am I supposed to react like a radio-show-call-in-crazy and recommend that Hochevar be released immediately, Dayton Moore fired and Ned Yost banished to the Korean leagues? I've actually done that already, but this is really all I want to hear from Dayton Moore after a few beers and shots of whiskey...

Dayton after his second double bourbon: "Look Mr. PBR Blogger Guy, I hear you, but it basically came down to me giving up the Matt Latos/Gio Gonzalez uber package of prospects or taking a flyer on Jonathan Sanchez. Can you really blame me? If you and Bobby Joe the radio call-in guy really thought this team was ready for that kind of move then so be it, but I didn't. The Reds and Nationals are at least two years ahead of us in development. Do you see Stephen Strasburg anywhere, how bout Joey Votto? Yeah, I gave Bruce Chen $9 mil, but the Marlins gave Mark Buehrle $58 mil and if I'm regretting not paying 35 year old Mark Buehrle $18 mil in 2014 then I'll personally give you my job. And by the way, do you think David Glass handed me a check book and said go get Yu Darvish? If so, you're not exactly familiar with how Wal Mart CEOs make money.

Me: "Wow Mr. Moore, when you put it that way, please do continue. Bartender, another round."

Dayton: "And could anyone really have imagined that Luke Hochevar would be this bad? I get it, he's been bad before, but now it's to the point where even Ned is having trouble playing this one down. I don't even watch the guys starts anymore. I usually just watch reruns of Two and Half Men or do Pilates and wait for Ned to tell me we have to call-up ANOTHER long reliever from Omaha. Seriously, Ned thinks we're playing fantasy baseball waiver wire here. I can't even keep the names straight anymore, is Jeff Suppan still available?"

Me: "Yeah, I guess you too don't like to see Hochevar pitching like he's playing pinball, but what about Luis Mendoza?"

Dayton: "Yeah, that one was more of a stretch than the others. Look every good team has this guy who comes from nowhere to all-of-a-sudden throw 200 quality innings. Did you know who Doug Fister was until last year? What about Ryan Vogelsong? And I'll punch you in the face if you even think about about mentioning Philip Humber. The point is I didn't think Luis Mendoza was going to be successful, I hoped that he would. In fact, I prayed to every single known deity observed on the face of the earth. I felt I had to take a chance with him, I mean he was the best pitcher in AAA last year. If you just let him go and he goes on to have success somewhere else I'd really give you and your blogging brethren something to talk about." 
  
Me: "You know you fired a pitching coach because because we were walking too many guys, how's that working out so far? By the way we lead the league in walks"

Dayton: "Look Hitler couldn't convince Jonathan Sanchez to walk fewer people. The guy is who he is. If you suddenly swapped brains with Greg Maddux, he'd still walk five per nine innings. As for the rest of them, I'm just glad Felipe Paulino is back. Not that he's got pinpoint control, but at least one of my moves from last season has a chance of looking good. It's been a rough year pal, but this job isn't easy."

If I could believe Dayton actually thought that way, it would be one thing. But I don't. I think Dayton would defend his offseason rotation building to the grave. I think that he would make all of the same moves again and will continue to do so until he's out of a job or Clayton Kershaw, Stephen Strasburg and Cole Hamels decide to volunteer for the Royals.

My contention is that total failure is actually the best thing for the Royals. Teasing your fans with false hope and then trotting out Jonathan Sanchez and Luck Hochever to get shelled every fifth day is the kind of thing that actually will force a GM to do something. If we were sporting a nice little .500 hundred record with decent pitching, Moore would think what he did was okay and proceed accordingly. Now he has to face the fact that this rotation is all on him and it simply isn't going to cut it in order to make your team a winner.