Yes we have it too - even though soccer is for **** - the PBR has little to be excited about with regards to our beloved Royals, so we're keeping up on that game that they play everywhere else in the world. The US squad is playing some good FOOTball right now and got absolutely hosed in their last match, so much so that the ref has been disqualified from further matches in the World Cup. That game is probably a perfect example of why we baseball fans hate that silly game, but I for one was more excited watching it than any Royals game during the past five years. So we thought we would take a look at the Royals roster and see what kind of soccer players they would make...
Kyle Farnsworth: Not exactly the right build to be playing soccer, could probably deliver a mean header in practice but lacks the overall skill set required for some footy. However, he would probably make a great drunken English soccer fan; I can just see him in a pub pounding down pints of ale, shouting at the TV and getting in fist fights because he thinks Manchester United is way better than Chelsea.
Willie Bloomquist & Scott Posednik: Two great examples of Americans that should have taken up soccer, every aspiring S Pods/Bloomy-10 year old out there should quit trying to play other sports right now and start playing soccer. If we just did this with all short, fast, coordinated above average athletes in America, by the 2018 World Cup we would have the most feared squad ever. Just take a look at the Spanish team, I would be surprised if there were two players over 6 foot, yet they are one of the best teams around.
Jose Guillen - Even if he had a chance to be good, he would have been forced into retirement a few years ago. His body has broken down through the rigors of playing Right Field and DH in baseball, I'm guessing that he never would have made it past tryouts in soccer.
Mike Aviles - I'll bet Mike can do one of those curvy-Beckham-like kicks really well. He just might have hope on the soccer field, if you changed his first name to Miguel and put a soccer jersey on him he could at least past the photo line-up.
Billy Butler - What's a soccer ball? He might just be the antithesis of a soccer player; I would give lots of money to see Billy posed shirtless next to Cristiano Ronaldo. Billy couldn't play goalie on a girls AAU sqaud.
Jason Kendall - Obviously he would be the starting goalie until he was 40 on the US squad had he chosen football. The other team would always score more goals but then the coach would tell you that what Jason does doesn't show-up on the score card (NED wake-up, he's the worst catcher in baseball PERIOD).
Rick Ankiel - He could probably start practicing now and make the US team by 2014.
Chris Getz - I can't believe I forgot to include him with Bloomy and Pods, basically if you're fast and short but can't hit home runs by age 10 my advice is more kicky and less throwy!
Yuniesky Betancourt - Constant running, staying in formation, being aware of the situation...yeah not exactly Yuni's thing is it.
David DeJesus - Best Royals soccer player, hands down. I'm willing to bet that had David started kicking balls instead of thowing them at age 6 he would be one of the best midfielders in all of soccer, or at least on this side of the pond. My admitted rudimentary knowledge of soccer aside, he just looks like he could be lobbing passes over the defense and putting corner kicks right on the money. Basically David's stock is up right now and I really hope he is traded to New York or Boston very soon, he deserves it.
USA! USA! USA! Here's hoping that Donovan and crew can pull out the victory against Algeria and move on to keep playing in the round of 16. That's a wrap on the PBR's attempt to see if anyone on the team could have made it as a soccer player. Basically all pitchers were disqualified due to the fact that pitchers have only one skill and that it does not have anything to do with soccer but if anyone disagrees and feels that Kyle Davies would have been a great soccer player please let us know...
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