Wednesday, December 15, 2010

They like me, they really like me

Dayton Moore awoke Tuesday morning to see that his IPhone had 37 missed calls and 14 new voice mails, the Powder Blue Room was able to intercept some of the voice mails and conversations, the following is a text version of what transpired:

Dayton Moore's IPhone Voice Mail #5:

Brain Cashman (BC):  Dayton, this is Brian Cahman from the New York Yankees, I'd appreciate it if you'd give me a call at your earliest convenience, this is my unlisted number DO NOT give it out under any circumstances and call me back from a pay phone.

Dayton Moore (DM) returning BC's message:  Hi Mr. Cashman, this Dayton Moore, General Manager of the Kansas City Royals returning your phone call.

BC:  Dayton, you can call me Brian now, I need your help, you've got to give me Greinke.  Are you calling from a secure phone? I'm in Montana in my panic room, 1000 ft underground, no one knows where I'm at. I had to flee after Cliff Lee signed with the Phillies, the Steinbrenners are threatening castration.  I think George has returned from the dead to haunt my dreams, I haven't slept for 50 hours, I can't go back without Zach Greinke.

DM:  Well Brian, I'm going to tell you what I've told everyone, let me get my calling sheet for GMs who find themselves in these situations; "We are not actively pursuing a trade with insert player X, I mean Zach Greinke, we will certainly entertain all reasonable offers, but..."

BC:  Dayton, cut the bullshit, you like prospects, I don't care about them, you want to talk about the achievements of 20 years olds, I have to win the World Series every year!  Do you understand that I'm calling from the the New York Yankees, I just gave $50 mil to a senior citizen.  We buy players, that's great if you want to develop them for us, we'll just buy them for $100 mil 5 years later.  You can have ANYONE in our minor league system, no problem, I just can't go home until I have Zach, please Dayton they're going after my family next.

DM:  Uh...We're not actively shopping Zach, if you have an offer please contact me with said offer and we can discuss it.

BC:  Are you an f-ing robot, didn't you hear me?  You can have anyone, take our top 5, just give me Zack so I can sleep you little Monkey!

DM:  Hold on Brian, I've got another phone call coming in...

BC:  F$## You, !!!!!!!!!##$$^&&&&&J####kljd.... 

(DM puts BC on hold to take the incoming call, wondering if this was really Brian Cashman, the same guy who just last week said he was too busy to go grab lunch at the GM meetings, and who previously made him use his secretary for all communication, or was it Theo Epstein and Bill James prank calling him again)

DM:  Good afternoon, Dayton Moore Head General Managing person for the Kansas City Royals.

Nolan Ryan (NR):  Dayton, good buddy, it's Nolan Ryan, how's things up there in KC, I hear its colder than a well diggers ass up in your neck of the woods.

DM:  Who is this really? I'm the General Manager of a Major League Baseball team with the most talented minor league players in the game, I don't have time to joke around.

NR:  Dayton, are you bat shit crazy? This is Nolan Ryan, used to pitch a little bit, now I own the Texas Rangers.

DM:  REALLY!!?? The Nolan Ryan, I have to say sir I'm a big fan, I believe this is the first time we've actually spoken, how can I help you?

NR:  Dayton, look here, you ain't talked to that Yankee bastard Cashman yet, have ya?  Never mind, listen you've got that horse of yours that I'm lookin to get over here to our team, what it'll it take to make this happen?

DM:  I believe you've been misinformed Mr. Ryan, I'm a baseball General Manager, I don't have any horses.

NR:  Dayton, are you high, Zach Greinke, I need him in Texas, now I know you want a bunch of little ponies for that big stud of yours and I think we got just the group of young bucks you need, what do you say you come down to my ranch, we'll go hunting with some former presidents and make this happen.

DM:  I'm sorry, but I don't own a gun, maybe we could meet at my office.

NR:  What is wrong with you son?  Whatever, call my secretary and set it up.

(Dayton hangs up his IPhone, forgetting about Brian Cashman, thinking he is the most popular man in the world, he finally gets to talk with people who have nothing to do with the Braves organization, he is now a real live GM, tears form in his eyes as begins to watch more minor league film of Eric Hosmer and Mike Montgomery)

The time is now Dayton, this is why GMs get paid the big bucks, choose wisely because you will probably never be this popular again. Everyone is waiting on your call as to what to do with Zach Greinke, the ball is in your court now.

Seriously, could this guy have gotten any luckier?  This decision might literally make or brake the Royals as a franchise and this is the guy who gets to make the decision, thankfully Greinke's stock might be so high right now that he can't screw this one up, or can he?  What do you do if you're Dayton?

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