Your KC Royals are a hard stock to evaluate; they're not as bad as the 12 game losing streak would have led you to believe and yet they're definitely not as good as their marketing team had anticipated ("Our Time" joke #7,256). The first quarter earnings are just coming in for the KC Royals, and they're not great. A few buys, many holds and a lot of sells. Lets take a look at what the PBR analysts are saying:
Eric Hosmer: If there was ever a time to buy, it's now. We're not telling you any big secret, but after hitting an all time high right before the season started, he's seen a steady decline in investors. Lots of analysts, Ned Yost, and his teammate in little league will tell you he's going to snap out of it. And frankly we have no choice but to believe what the street is saying. If Getz continues to out slug Hosmer the Royals will never recover. Buy, no choice.
Alcides Escobar: The hardest stocks to evaluate are those in the International SS market. The range goes from Angel Berroa (year one) to Angel Berroa (currently in the Independent leagues). Is Alcides the .300 hitter with 40+ doubles gap power that we've seen so far? Or is that .600 OPS player from his first two years still waiting to take your investors' money? The PBR as an investment firm has simply made it a rule not to play these high fluctuation currency markets. The winners win big, but the losers don't get to play anymore. Hold if you own his shares, but we don't.
Alex Gordon: The firm of PBR had always been cautious when issuing buys on Gordon stock. We felt we had to buy his stock because we didn't want to be the only ones left out when he turned into Ryan Braun big-boy stock. However, we bought small chunks of the stock in order to limit our exposure. We still don't quite know what Gordon is; last year could simply be the exception and not the true value of Gordon. For now, the Gold Glove Gordon Value Index stock is a Hold and nothing more.
Billy Butler: I'm glad I came around on this stock last year. It's got value and Billy seems to have been able to finally unlock that power asset which had been holding down full earnings potential. At 9 HRs, Billy is currently trading at an all time and there are rumors Butler Corp. is going to start issuing dividends as well. Keep it up Billy, you're making investors very happy. Hold, maybe a buy.
Jeff Francoeur: This is not a joke, I was actually issuing buy orders on the Frenchy Club Leader long term investment fund a few weeks ago. He was so bad at the plate, there was nowhere to go but up. The real kicker is that he is guaranteed to continue playing for Royals. Dayton would never just jump ship this investment so he'll get every opportunity to turn it around. After hitting a pair of HRs in NYC the believers are back, so he's no longer a quick buy. Hold because Dayton will.
Mitch Maier: The Mitchie Money Market account barely keeps up with inflation, but he also won't hurt you. Keep him hidden just like the KC Royals' managing partner Ned Yost does.
Jarrod Dyson: I love this stock for absolutely no good reason. One asset, but it's a good one. Honestly, he probably gave you all the earnings he had for the first part of quarter one and not many analysts see growth potential, but as a wild card stock you could do worse.
Chris Getz: Look, there are people who love this stock and I'm willing to admit that he has played MUCH better this year. He might even make it onto Vin Diesel the day trader's list of buys, and Vin might make a quick buck, but I'll continue to stay away. The believers will try to jam him down your throat like a time-share in Colorado, but I prefer condos on St. Thomas. Sell, same as always.
Mike Moustakas: If we have to admit we were wrong on Moose last year, then so be it. He looked like a guy who might be OK, but never quite the potential of Hosmer stock. Fast forward to this year and he's one of the best 3Bs in the league while Hosmer is tanking, we didn't see that coming. I didn't see the power living up to the minor league hype, I never thought he would hit lefties and I thought he'd be a below average to horrible defender. Turns out all of those things were wrong and he's been the best player on the Royals so far. Moose Stock isn't cheap these days, but if you think he keeps up this pace he's still a buy.
Pena & Quintero: Everybody knows exactly what types of stocks these are. The Backup Catcher Savings Bonds are there for a reason, problem is that if you've got two, that's one too many.
Aaron Crow: I give up trying to get Aaron reclassified as a large cap fund. No, seriously, I'm not complaining (for once) about the Royals not wanting to try him as a starter. Every time he throws one good inning I think he has the potential to be a stock like Jeff Samardzja, Lance Lynn or Chris Sale. However, we still see way too many bad innings for us to actually believe he could string good innings together 6-8 at a time. Sell, the stock's earnings look pretty flat.
Tim Collins: All good closer stock has something in common; that crazy eyed look that allows them to do a ridiculous dance and pump their fist in joy when they close out a game. I think Tim Collins' stock has that look. Here is the other thing, Tim decided to go with the proven reliever success theory: walks = bad and strike outs = good. Tim's stock is still cheap while being buried in the 7th inning, if you asked me to pick a replacement for the Soria Security fund that fell out of our portfolio, I'd go with the Timmy small cap fund. His earnings have gone from 48BB/60K last year to 7BB/32K this season. Buy.
Kelvin Herrera: I see a big time sell on this guy. Look I like watching him pitch as much as anyone, but how often do you see guys that throw 100 MPH with great change-ups sustaining it for 5 years or more? Never. How often are there teams who think they've found the exception? There's always a sucker. We think he would look nice in a package deal to go get a starter. Holding on to bullpen arms is like holding on to a firecracker for that extra thrill. The Royals have already had their fingers burned once this year, and Holland almost made it twice, so let's start lets not fall in love with Kelvin's flashy numbers. Not a sell, but I'd be looking for buyers.
Broxton, Holland and Mijares: Sell, sell and sell! Not that they're bad, but we've seen Broxton when it doesn't go right. Holland shares plummeted in the first quarter and these types of stock tend not to bounce back quickly. As for Mijares: buy low, sell high, Investment 101.
Danny Duffy: See Hosmer. Maybe we bought a few too many shares of Duffman Corp., but we needed him in our large cap portfolio. I guess we have to start looking into Odorizzi stock as the next potential for a large cap growth fund in the organization. Not happy about this one, PBR investors got burned.
Felipe Paulino: We will probably never fully believe in this stock, but if there is one stock outperforming it's price-to-earnings, it's Felipe stock. There are still enough non-believers to issue a buy on the Felipe Emerging Markets fund, but let's be realistic, he's still risky. Buy, sell or hold, either way it takes stones to play in this uncharted market.
Bruce Chen: Our favorite stock by far. Just buy it and don't think too much about it. I can't explain it from an analysts perspective, but it just works.
Luis Mendoza: This is a boring stock. Also, if the Royals give up on you this easy, there is something wrong. Stay away.
Nate Adcock: Adcock Stock is a buy. It's still dirt cheap and has shown nothing but solid earnings. We're not going long, but in the short term we'll take it.
Luck Hochever: Luke's been burning investors for years now. It's the worst kind of stock; when it tanks it it really tanks. When it's right investors come running back only to watch their retirement go up in flames. These investors continually think it's a tweak away from paying big dividends, but they simply ignore Luke's 5yr performance chart. Luke has Toxic Asset tattooed on his right arm. DO NOT BE FOOLED!
As we all know, the Royals as a whole have taken a beating in the first quarter. Q2 can't start nearly as badly as Q1 did, so we're looking for some modest gains going forward this quarter, but nothing big. Stay tuned for more free investment advice from your friendly PBR stock brokers.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Another Crazy Trade Idea
As self-appointed Internet GM of the KC Royals we here at the PBR like nothing more than to come up with bat-shit crazy trade ideas. If we're right, we get ammunition for future posts which affirm our superior GM-ing skills, and if wer're wrong we can simply delete the post. It's a win-win scenario. Last year we proposed that the Royals trade for Carlos Zambrano. So far this is working out pretty well for the Marlins; 1.87 ERA, 39 SO and one more complete game than KC's entire staff. We don't want to say we told you so because we knew the likelihood of pulling it off was low. If there is one player who is the complete opposite of Dayton Moore's team philosophy, it might be Big Z. Also, we can only assume that Big Z would have exercised his no-trade clause as soon as he heard the word Kansas. Right now the Marlins look pretty good for making this trade, but it's also pretty obvious that Ned Yost is not Ozzie Guillen. He's not from Venezuela. And he probably does not have one thing in common with Zambrano, so it may have completely backfired here in KC. However, we've got a new one which might just work... let's get Josh Beckett. Admit it, you're intrigued. Let me tell you why it makes sense:
For the Royals, it would be Dayton's most emphatic statement yet that he wants to win NOW. It's a perfect hybrid trade which minimizes both money and prospects. The Royals don't have to give up one of their big two (Meyers & Odorizzi) and they don't have to shell out $80 mil on the free agent market. Pick a mid tier Royals' prospect and throw in a bullpen arm, it shouldn't take a boatload to get two years of an aging Beckett. The Royals should also be willing to pick-up a good chunk of the tab for Beckett's remaining salary given that they have money this season and don't have anything earmarked for the next two seasons (Joakim basically just gave us back $8mil for next season). Obviously there is a lot of down side, but there's always going to be some when it involves pitchers (see the Royals). Look, Josh Beckett could develop a serious BBQ addiction and eat Oklahoma Joe's for breakfast, Gates for lunch, Arthur Bryant's for dinner and not fit into his uniform by seasons end. His arm could fall off by August. But he also could still be an Ace. Dayton can make the case that he's a "competitor" with "playoff experience" who can "help the young staff" and therefore internally justify the move. Nobody in KC cares about his past slip-ups and locals would praise the move.
For Boston, they can finally free themselves of the epic collapse of last year. At the same time they make a minor league restocking move and shed some much needed payroll. He is HATED in Boston right now and the new regime should be motivated to make their own mark on the team. The relationship has become toxic and Boston could conceivably finish fifth in their division this year. Beckett is the only thing they can trade which satisfies all needs: appeasement of the fan-base, cash flow freedom and immediate bullpen help to along with a future prospect.
For Beckett, he can flee Boston (again where he is hated) to join the Royals staff as its ace and possible savior. It's a change of scenery from being busted over dietary preferences and free time activities. Josh is from Texas, Ned thinks he's from Texas, so they should get along. Kauffman is more of a pitcher's park and maybe Josh can get away with a few more long flyouts than he does in Fenway. Our players would actually respect him instead of treating him like a scar. In KC he can warm-up with 18 holes on the day he's starting, then eat a half slab with a tall boy while he's warming up in the pen. KC fans haven't been spoiled by a couple of World Series rings and are just looking for anything positive.
Everyone wins, Dayton Moore meet Ben Cherington. Make this happen.
For the Royals, it would be Dayton's most emphatic statement yet that he wants to win NOW. It's a perfect hybrid trade which minimizes both money and prospects. The Royals don't have to give up one of their big two (Meyers & Odorizzi) and they don't have to shell out $80 mil on the free agent market. Pick a mid tier Royals' prospect and throw in a bullpen arm, it shouldn't take a boatload to get two years of an aging Beckett. The Royals should also be willing to pick-up a good chunk of the tab for Beckett's remaining salary given that they have money this season and don't have anything earmarked for the next two seasons (Joakim basically just gave us back $8mil for next season). Obviously there is a lot of down side, but there's always going to be some when it involves pitchers (see the Royals). Look, Josh Beckett could develop a serious BBQ addiction and eat Oklahoma Joe's for breakfast, Gates for lunch, Arthur Bryant's for dinner and not fit into his uniform by seasons end. His arm could fall off by August. But he also could still be an Ace. Dayton can make the case that he's a "competitor" with "playoff experience" who can "help the young staff" and therefore internally justify the move. Nobody in KC cares about his past slip-ups and locals would praise the move.
For Boston, they can finally free themselves of the epic collapse of last year. At the same time they make a minor league restocking move and shed some much needed payroll. He is HATED in Boston right now and the new regime should be motivated to make their own mark on the team. The relationship has become toxic and Boston could conceivably finish fifth in their division this year. Beckett is the only thing they can trade which satisfies all needs: appeasement of the fan-base, cash flow freedom and immediate bullpen help to along with a future prospect.
For Beckett, he can flee Boston (again where he is hated) to join the Royals staff as its ace and possible savior. It's a change of scenery from being busted over dietary preferences and free time activities. Josh is from Texas, Ned thinks he's from Texas, so they should get along. Kauffman is more of a pitcher's park and maybe Josh can get away with a few more long flyouts than he does in Fenway. Our players would actually respect him instead of treating him like a scar. In KC he can warm-up with 18 holes on the day he's starting, then eat a half slab with a tall boy while he's warming up in the pen. KC fans haven't been spoiled by a couple of World Series rings and are just looking for anything positive.
Everyone wins, Dayton Moore meet Ben Cherington. Make this happen.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Dayton's All Throw Away Team
I'm by no means advocating bringing any of the following players back, and I realize that one month from now this could look really ridiculous, but I've been perusing the box scores of other teams and noticed some familiar names. In honor of the Royals facing Philip Humber tomorrow and the All Star game coming to town I've assembled a pretty good team with the players Dayton Moore has basically thrown away. Here is the batting order and starting line-up for Dayton's All Throw Away Team:
1. RF David DeJesus: I know, I know, we still have 5 years of Vin Mazzaro going for us. And DJ wasn't under contract for this season, but still he's hitting .266/.375/.760, not exactly Ted Williams, but I'd take that at lead-off over Frenchy's .243/.298/.620 line batting fifth. And shouldn't DeJesus really be the Royals veteran leader? I mean, he's actually a veteran. And he's actually a Royal not a Brave (Dayton does seem to get the two confused). Look, not holding onto DJ and signing him to an extension isn't exactly a searing indictment against Moore, but it's the little things that add up.
2. SS Mike Aviles: For some reason I really liked Mike. I get it, he made some vague comments against management and Dayton said it was time to go. Maybe that's being a no-nonsense GM, but maybe good GMs just ignore harmless comments like this and move on with life. Mike is the type of guy whose numbers could go off a cliff at any point in time, but the fact is right now his numbers are as good as our starting SS.
3. LF Melky Cabrera: As soon as Jonathan Sanchez comes off the DL and stops walking people, I'm sure this one will swing right back in Dayton's favor. His OPS is currently 200 points higher than Frenchy's, and he's not guaranteed $7.5 mil next season, and he currently stands to net the Giants a first round draft pick when he's let go in the offseason. Okay you decide: a better hitter this season, $7.5 mil toward a starting pitcher next season, Wil Meyers starting in RF on opening day and a possible supplemental 1st round pick in 2012 OR a really nice guy to have in the clubhouse?
4. DH Wilson Betemit: This was actually a good move initially by Dayton to get him, but then the Royals really just didn't know what to do with Betemit. Eventually his average dropped a bit and Moose was ready for the bigs so he just sat there spoiling until Detroit came along with a pair of young no-name prospects. Again not the most damaging check mark against Moore, but Wilson ended up being a severely undervalued asset. He's slugging almost .500 so far this season, so he bats clean up. Oh yeah, the Orioles are paying half as much for him as we're paying for Yuni and we're still looking for a right handed bat off the bench.
5. 1B Kila Ka'aihue: We all know this guy never got a shot in KC and I'll bet everyone is really pulling for him to do well in Oakland. Not that I'd trade him back for Hosmer, but Hosmer would kill for his .292/.354/.785 line right about now.
6. C John Buck: Memories! Originally part of that blockbuster-turned-dud Beltran trade. Yeah, that never worked out, but it also seemed like Dayton hated this guy from the very beginning (not that I was his #1 fan). First he went out and got renta-catcher Miggy Olivo to platoon with him and then he just flat-out releases Buck following the 2009 season. Naturally he went on to Toronto to hit 20 HRs and make the F-ing All Star team! How's that for a non tendered player coming back to bite you in the ass. Oh yeah, don't forget that Dayton did this so that he could sign old man Kendall to "develop" the young pitchers. Which you'll recall turned out well. And just as a little cherry on top, Toronto knew the season was pretty fluky and let him sign with Florida, but that got them a supplemental 1st round pick in the 2011 draft. I wonder why Toronto gets credit for being such a well run organization? He's been pretty bad in Florida, but nothing compared to how bad Kendall was with the Royals.
7. 3B Alberto Callaspo: Yes, I'd rather have Moose. No question. But the fact is Callaspo turned into a really solid player at 3B and Sean O'Sullivan turned into absolutely nothing.
8. 2B Yamaico Navarro: Dayton will most likely be back with the Braves and I'll be blogging about the Houston Astros before we know if the players he squeezed out of Pittsburgh are worth anything. What we do know is that Dayton got rid of Aviles for Yamaico because he thought Aviles had a bad attitude, but it turned out Yamico made Aviles look like Chris Getz when it comes to team unity. Also, we had to give $2 mil to Yuni to do the job Navarro was supposed handle. Not exactly great resource management by our GM.
9. CF Willie Bloomquist: Okay this is a stretch, but I really needed a center fielder. Technically it qualifies since he was traded to Cincy for the classic late season "player to be named and cash." I'll admit that I was hard on poor Willie, but it was mainly because he was our starting CF and #2 hitter for the bulk of a season, which was not exactly his fault. However, he did manage to start for a playoff team last season so we'll give him the final spot on the All Dayton Throw Away roster.
SP Phil Humber: Who else? He threw a perfect game this year. Enough said. You know the story, left off the roster a year ago and went through a series of waiver claims to wind up reborn with the Chi Sox. Nobody can really blame Moore for the move, but the facts are still there. He has been pretty awful coming off the perfect game, but Jonathan Sanchez's 2010 season is the only season from the Royals combined staff members which was better than Humber's 2011 season.
After writing this, I've realized that there are two ways to look at the list. First, you could say I just fielded a competitive major league team from players that Dayton Moore cast away. And in return we've received Vin Mazarro, Sean O'Sullivan, Jonathan Sanchez, Jeff Francouer by extension and half of a AA roster. Not good for Moore. However, there is a glass-half-full way to view it in that we no longer need Kila Ka'aihue to be good, we need Hosmer to be great. We no longer need 160 quality innings from Philip Humber, we need 200 dominant innings from Duffy. We no longer need DeJesus to be solid, we need Wil Meyers to be a superstar. This is really the best thing that we can say for Moore right now, at least we're in a position where things can go right. Still we're already looking at next season in mid May, but it is no longer quite as painful as it once was.
1. RF David DeJesus: I know, I know, we still have 5 years of Vin Mazzaro going for us. And DJ wasn't under contract for this season, but still he's hitting .266/.375/.760, not exactly Ted Williams, but I'd take that at lead-off over Frenchy's .243/.298/.620 line batting fifth. And shouldn't DeJesus really be the Royals veteran leader? I mean, he's actually a veteran. And he's actually a Royal not a Brave (Dayton does seem to get the two confused). Look, not holding onto DJ and signing him to an extension isn't exactly a searing indictment against Moore, but it's the little things that add up.
2. SS Mike Aviles: For some reason I really liked Mike. I get it, he made some vague comments against management and Dayton said it was time to go. Maybe that's being a no-nonsense GM, but maybe good GMs just ignore harmless comments like this and move on with life. Mike is the type of guy whose numbers could go off a cliff at any point in time, but the fact is right now his numbers are as good as our starting SS.
3. LF Melky Cabrera: As soon as Jonathan Sanchez comes off the DL and stops walking people, I'm sure this one will swing right back in Dayton's favor. His OPS is currently 200 points higher than Frenchy's, and he's not guaranteed $7.5 mil next season, and he currently stands to net the Giants a first round draft pick when he's let go in the offseason. Okay you decide: a better hitter this season, $7.5 mil toward a starting pitcher next season, Wil Meyers starting in RF on opening day and a possible supplemental 1st round pick in 2012 OR a really nice guy to have in the clubhouse?
4. DH Wilson Betemit: This was actually a good move initially by Dayton to get him, but then the Royals really just didn't know what to do with Betemit. Eventually his average dropped a bit and Moose was ready for the bigs so he just sat there spoiling until Detroit came along with a pair of young no-name prospects. Again not the most damaging check mark against Moore, but Wilson ended up being a severely undervalued asset. He's slugging almost .500 so far this season, so he bats clean up. Oh yeah, the Orioles are paying half as much for him as we're paying for Yuni and we're still looking for a right handed bat off the bench.
5. 1B Kila Ka'aihue: We all know this guy never got a shot in KC and I'll bet everyone is really pulling for him to do well in Oakland. Not that I'd trade him back for Hosmer, but Hosmer would kill for his .292/.354/.785 line right about now.
6. C John Buck: Memories! Originally part of that blockbuster-turned-dud Beltran trade. Yeah, that never worked out, but it also seemed like Dayton hated this guy from the very beginning (not that I was his #1 fan). First he went out and got renta-catcher Miggy Olivo to platoon with him and then he just flat-out releases Buck following the 2009 season. Naturally he went on to Toronto to hit 20 HRs and make the F-ing All Star team! How's that for a non tendered player coming back to bite you in the ass. Oh yeah, don't forget that Dayton did this so that he could sign old man Kendall to "develop" the young pitchers. Which you'll recall turned out well. And just as a little cherry on top, Toronto knew the season was pretty fluky and let him sign with Florida, but that got them a supplemental 1st round pick in the 2011 draft. I wonder why Toronto gets credit for being such a well run organization? He's been pretty bad in Florida, but nothing compared to how bad Kendall was with the Royals.
7. 3B Alberto Callaspo: Yes, I'd rather have Moose. No question. But the fact is Callaspo turned into a really solid player at 3B and Sean O'Sullivan turned into absolutely nothing.
8. 2B Yamaico Navarro: Dayton will most likely be back with the Braves and I'll be blogging about the Houston Astros before we know if the players he squeezed out of Pittsburgh are worth anything. What we do know is that Dayton got rid of Aviles for Yamaico because he thought Aviles had a bad attitude, but it turned out Yamico made Aviles look like Chris Getz when it comes to team unity. Also, we had to give $2 mil to Yuni to do the job Navarro was supposed handle. Not exactly great resource management by our GM.
9. CF Willie Bloomquist: Okay this is a stretch, but I really needed a center fielder. Technically it qualifies since he was traded to Cincy for the classic late season "player to be named and cash." I'll admit that I was hard on poor Willie, but it was mainly because he was our starting CF and #2 hitter for the bulk of a season, which was not exactly his fault. However, he did manage to start for a playoff team last season so we'll give him the final spot on the All Dayton Throw Away roster.
SP Phil Humber: Who else? He threw a perfect game this year. Enough said. You know the story, left off the roster a year ago and went through a series of waiver claims to wind up reborn with the Chi Sox. Nobody can really blame Moore for the move, but the facts are still there. He has been pretty awful coming off the perfect game, but Jonathan Sanchez's 2010 season is the only season from the Royals combined staff members which was better than Humber's 2011 season.
After writing this, I've realized that there are two ways to look at the list. First, you could say I just fielded a competitive major league team from players that Dayton Moore cast away. And in return we've received Vin Mazarro, Sean O'Sullivan, Jonathan Sanchez, Jeff Francouer by extension and half of a AA roster. Not good for Moore. However, there is a glass-half-full way to view it in that we no longer need Kila Ka'aihue to be good, we need Hosmer to be great. We no longer need 160 quality innings from Philip Humber, we need 200 dominant innings from Duffy. We no longer need DeJesus to be solid, we need Wil Meyers to be a superstar. This is really the best thing that we can say for Moore right now, at least we're in a position where things can go right. Still we're already looking at next season in mid May, but it is no longer quite as painful as it once was.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
The Big Three
Six starts 23 2/3 innings, 41 hits, 34 ER, 12 BB, 12 SO. These are the combined last two starts for the "Big Three" of Sanchez, Chen and Hochevar. And that includes a five inning fluke shutout by Sanchez. These were the Royals locks for the starting rotation at the beginning the year. These are the reasons why Aaron Crow can't get a shot, the reasons why Felipe Paulino had to fight for a spot in the rotation and the reasons why the Royals felt they were good on the starting rotation going into the year.
It's been a bad stretch for these guys. So BAD that the Royals might be the first team in the history of modern baseball to have not one, not two, but three long relievers. Yes, the minor league call-up everyone has been waiting for: The Return of Vinny Mazzaro! That's how bad the rotation has been; they need help from a pitcher who is the owner of the worst relief appearance in history. Be honest you never thought we'd have to see Vinny again, did you?
Am I supposed to react like a radio-show-call-in-crazy and recommend that Hochevar be released immediately, Dayton Moore fired and Ned Yost banished to the Korean leagues? I've actually done that already, but this is really all I want to hear from Dayton Moore after a few beers and shots of whiskey...
Dayton after his second double bourbon: "Look Mr. PBR Blogger Guy, I hear you, but it basically came down to me giving up the Matt Latos/Gio Gonzalez uber package of prospects or taking a flyer on Jonathan Sanchez. Can you really blame me? If you and Bobby Joe the radio call-in guy really thought this team was ready for that kind of move then so be it, but I didn't. The Reds and Nationals are at least two years ahead of us in development. Do you see Stephen Strasburg anywhere, how bout Joey Votto? Yeah, I gave Bruce Chen $9 mil, but the Marlins gave Mark Buehrle $58 mil and if I'm regretting not paying 35 year old Mark Buehrle $18 mil in 2014 then I'll personally give you my job. And by the way, do you think David Glass handed me a check book and said go get Yu Darvish? If so, you're not exactly familiar with how Wal Mart CEOs make money.
Me: "Wow Mr. Moore, when you put it that way, please do continue. Bartender, another round."
Dayton: "And could anyone really have imagined that Luke Hochevar would be this bad? I get it, he's been bad before, but now it's to the point where even Ned is having trouble playing this one down. I don't even watch the guys starts anymore. I usually just watch reruns of Two and Half Men or do Pilates and wait for Ned to tell me we have to call-up ANOTHER long reliever from Omaha. Seriously, Ned thinks we're playing fantasy baseball waiver wire here. I can't even keep the names straight anymore, is Jeff Suppan still available?"
Me: "Yeah, I guess you too don't like to see Hochevar pitching like he's playing pinball, but what about Luis Mendoza?"
Dayton: "Yeah, that one was more of a stretch than the others. Look every good team has this guy who comes from nowhere to all-of-a-sudden throw 200 quality innings. Did you know who Doug Fister was until last year? What about Ryan Vogelsong? And I'll punch you in the face if you even think about about mentioning Philip Humber. The point is I didn't think Luis Mendoza was going to be successful, I hoped that he would. In fact, I prayed to every single known deity observed on the face of the earth. I felt I had to take a chance with him, I mean he was the best pitcher in AAA last year. If you just let him go and he goes on to have success somewhere else I'd really give you and your blogging brethren something to talk about."
Me: "You know you fired a pitching coach because because we were walking too many guys, how's that working out so far? By the way we lead the league in walks"
Dayton: "Look Hitler couldn't convince Jonathan Sanchez to walk fewer people. The guy is who he is. If you suddenly swapped brains with Greg Maddux, he'd still walk five per nine innings. As for the rest of them, I'm just glad Felipe Paulino is back. Not that he's got pinpoint control, but at least one of my moves from last season has a chance of looking good. It's been a rough year pal, but this job isn't easy."
If I could believe Dayton actually thought that way, it would be one thing. But I don't. I think Dayton would defend his offseason rotation building to the grave. I think that he would make all of the same moves again and will continue to do so until he's out of a job or Clayton Kershaw, Stephen Strasburg and Cole Hamels decide to volunteer for the Royals.
My contention is that total failure is actually the best thing for the Royals. Teasing your fans with false hope and then trotting out Jonathan Sanchez and Luck Hochever to get shelled every fifth day is the kind of thing that actually will force a GM to do something. If we were sporting a nice little .500 hundred record with decent pitching, Moore would think what he did was okay and proceed accordingly. Now he has to face the fact that this rotation is all on him and it simply isn't going to cut it in order to make your team a winner.
It's been a bad stretch for these guys. So BAD that the Royals might be the first team in the history of modern baseball to have not one, not two, but three long relievers. Yes, the minor league call-up everyone has been waiting for: The Return of Vinny Mazzaro! That's how bad the rotation has been; they need help from a pitcher who is the owner of the worst relief appearance in history. Be honest you never thought we'd have to see Vinny again, did you?
Am I supposed to react like a radio-show-call-in-crazy and recommend that Hochevar be released immediately, Dayton Moore fired and Ned Yost banished to the Korean leagues? I've actually done that already, but this is really all I want to hear from Dayton Moore after a few beers and shots of whiskey...
Dayton after his second double bourbon: "Look Mr. PBR Blogger Guy, I hear you, but it basically came down to me giving up the Matt Latos/Gio Gonzalez uber package of prospects or taking a flyer on Jonathan Sanchez. Can you really blame me? If you and Bobby Joe the radio call-in guy really thought this team was ready for that kind of move then so be it, but I didn't. The Reds and Nationals are at least two years ahead of us in development. Do you see Stephen Strasburg anywhere, how bout Joey Votto? Yeah, I gave Bruce Chen $9 mil, but the Marlins gave Mark Buehrle $58 mil and if I'm regretting not paying 35 year old Mark Buehrle $18 mil in 2014 then I'll personally give you my job. And by the way, do you think David Glass handed me a check book and said go get Yu Darvish? If so, you're not exactly familiar with how Wal Mart CEOs make money.
Me: "Wow Mr. Moore, when you put it that way, please do continue. Bartender, another round."
Dayton: "And could anyone really have imagined that Luke Hochevar would be this bad? I get it, he's been bad before, but now it's to the point where even Ned is having trouble playing this one down. I don't even watch the guys starts anymore. I usually just watch reruns of Two and Half Men or do Pilates and wait for Ned to tell me we have to call-up ANOTHER long reliever from Omaha. Seriously, Ned thinks we're playing fantasy baseball waiver wire here. I can't even keep the names straight anymore, is Jeff Suppan still available?"
Me: "Yeah, I guess you too don't like to see Hochevar pitching like he's playing pinball, but what about Luis Mendoza?"
Dayton: "Yeah, that one was more of a stretch than the others. Look every good team has this guy who comes from nowhere to all-of-a-sudden throw 200 quality innings. Did you know who Doug Fister was until last year? What about Ryan Vogelsong? And I'll punch you in the face if you even think about about mentioning Philip Humber. The point is I didn't think Luis Mendoza was going to be successful, I hoped that he would. In fact, I prayed to every single known deity observed on the face of the earth. I felt I had to take a chance with him, I mean he was the best pitcher in AAA last year. If you just let him go and he goes on to have success somewhere else I'd really give you and your blogging brethren something to talk about."
Me: "You know you fired a pitching coach because because we were walking too many guys, how's that working out so far? By the way we lead the league in walks"
Dayton: "Look Hitler couldn't convince Jonathan Sanchez to walk fewer people. The guy is who he is. If you suddenly swapped brains with Greg Maddux, he'd still walk five per nine innings. As for the rest of them, I'm just glad Felipe Paulino is back. Not that he's got pinpoint control, but at least one of my moves from last season has a chance of looking good. It's been a rough year pal, but this job isn't easy."
If I could believe Dayton actually thought that way, it would be one thing. But I don't. I think Dayton would defend his offseason rotation building to the grave. I think that he would make all of the same moves again and will continue to do so until he's out of a job or Clayton Kershaw, Stephen Strasburg and Cole Hamels decide to volunteer for the Royals.
My contention is that total failure is actually the best thing for the Royals. Teasing your fans with false hope and then trotting out Jonathan Sanchez and Luck Hochever to get shelled every fifth day is the kind of thing that actually will force a GM to do something. If we were sporting a nice little .500 hundred record with decent pitching, Moore would think what he did was okay and proceed accordingly. Now he has to face the fact that this rotation is all on him and it simply isn't going to cut it in order to make your team a winner.
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